Q: If you could bring back any TV show for another season, which one would you pick?
A: Get a Life.
Q: What’s your ultimate kryptonite?
A: Office jobs. No, babies. No, Arizona. No, working at an office job in Arizona with babies.
Q: Would you choose never to have nightmares again if it meant you had to stop dreaming altogether?
A: No. The nightmares tend to be the most fun anyway.
Q: Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
Q: What sea creature would you want most as an imaginary friend?
A: A shark with boobs.
Q: Can I have half of your sandwich?
A: Sure. Do you like pistachio loaf?
Q: If you met a monster made out of a hundred babies, how would you teach it to dance?
A: Are you fucking kidding me? I’m not teaching that thing how to dance. I’d be too busy crapping my pants in fear.
Q: Sporks or a very special episode of Charles in Charge?
A: How can I choose!
Q: What do you wish your name meant?
Q: What are you most afraid of?
A: That monster made out of a hundred babies I’m pretty sure. Babies in general pretty much freak the hell out of me. It was probably because of that time I was trapped in an abandoned mineshaft and all these babies crawled out of the shadows and started nibbling on my ankles.
Q: What’s your favorite word?
Q: Would you rather make out with your worst enemy or punch your best friend really hard?
A: Make out with my worst enemy. My enemies are always hot.
Q: What product would you most want to be a spokesperson for?
A: The Jean Claude Van Damme DVD Library.
Q: If Jesus had been killed some other way, do you think people would still wear the symbols of those murder weapons as necklaces?
A: Only if it makes a cool symbol. A guillotine probably wouldn’t work. A hangman’s noose might. An executioner’s axe would be sweet.
Q: Can you see the pictures in those magic eye books?
A: Fuck no. What the hell’s wrong with me?
Q: Do you tend to feel worse when a lovable animal dies in a movie, or a human character?
Q: If all the cereal characters were fighting (like Lucky from Lucky Charms, Count Chocula, etc) who would win and why?
A: Captain Crunch. Because he’s fucking Captain Crunch, that’s why.
Q: Would you rather travel into the past or the future?
Q: If you could have any accent, which one would you want?
Q & A conducted by Jeremy C. Shipp