Yard Gnome Myths

Let’s dispel some myths about Yard Gnomes, shall we?

MYTH: Gnomes eat children.

TRUTH: Gnomes are vegan. Some Gnomes simply cook children for ogres, to exchange for shoe horns.

MYTH: Gnomes use urine to clean their windows.

TRUTH: That’s disgusting. Gnomes actually use chupacabra vomit as a cleaning agent.

MYTH: Gnomes can’t read.

TRUTH: Gnomes can read, though only after slaying and eating a fresh bookworm.

MYTHS: Gnome hats are silly.

TRUTH: That’s a matter of opinion, buster!

MYTH: Gnomes will murder you if you shave off their beards.

TRUTH: Actually, that one is true.

(Gnome art by Kaolin Fire.)

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