Today was an ordinary day.

In the morning, I was hopped up on Gummiberry Juice, so I spent a few hours dressed up as Pizza Bear, terrifying the innocent.

Later on, my cat took me for a walk.

After that, me and my cat spent a few hours sitting in pots, staring at each other.

In the afternoon, I started feeling sick, so I took some Airborne. The Airborne expired in 2008, so I was only able to fly two feet off the ground.

Eventually, I started feeling better, so my wife and I went dancing.

Now I’m exhausted, but I’m too scared to sleep. I’m frightened because…well…sometimes my feelings are best expressed in shirt form.