Upcoming Tor Release

When Isabella died, her parents were determined to ensure her education wouldn’t suffer.

But Isabella’s parents had not informed her new governess of Isabella’s… condition, and when Ms Valdez arrives at the estate, having forced herself through a surreal nightmare maze of twisted human-like statues, she discovers that there is no girl to tutor.

Or is there…?

Jeremy C. Shipp’s haunting gothic fantasy The Atrocities forthcoming from Tor.com Publishing in April 2018. Read an excerpt here, and check out the full cover by artist Sam Araya here.

Pre-order now at the links below, or from your preferred retailer:

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | iBooks

100 Best Films Ever Made

When I first decided to create a list of the best films ever to be committed to celluloid, I felt slightly wary. Then, when I actually began the process of curating the list, the wariness transformed into moderate terror. And then, as the days and weeks passed, I felt the daunting weight of my task deep in my spleen. I’m not complaining, mind you. I simply want you to appreciate how much of my heart and soul and time was put into this list. How does one delve into over a century of cinema, and choose only 100 to represent the best of the best? It’s not easy. I’ll tell you that much. Anyway, without further ado, here are 100 of the best films ever made.

breeny

1. Troll 2

2. Foodfight!

3. The Room

4. The Legend of the Titanic

5. Titanic: The Legend Goes On

6. Tentacolino

7. Elf Bowling

8. The Little Panda Fighter

9. The Christmas Tree

10. Fateful Findings

11. The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

12. I Am Here…Now

13. Double Down

14. Cool as Ice

15. Manos: The Hands of Fate

16. Birdemic: Shock and Terror

17. Birdemic 2: The Resurrection

18. Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo

19. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

20. Death Bed: The Bed that Eats

21. The Beast of Yucca Flatts

22. Catwoman

23. Ben & Arthur

24. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon

25. Saving Christmas

26. Gigli

26. Twin Sitters

27. Glitter

28. Sharknado

29. Master of Disguise

30. Star Wars Holiday Special

31. Kindergarten Cop 2

32. Sharktopus

33. From Justin to Kelly

34. Son of the Mask

35. Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

36. 8 Crazy Nights

37. God’s Not Dead

38. God’s Not Dead 2

39. Christian Mingle

40. Old Fashioned

41. Fred: The Movie

42. Fred 2

43. Fred 3

44. Left Behind

45. Left Behind 2: Tribulation Force

46. Left Behind: World at War

47. Left Behind (remake)

48. Air Buddies

49. Snow Buddies

50. Space Buddies

51. Santa Buddies

52. Spooky Buddies

53. Treasure Buddies

54. Baby Geniuses

55. Baby Geniuses 2: Superbabies

56. Hobgoblins

57. The Final Sacrifice

58. Final Justice

59. Battlefield Earth

60. Chairman of the Board

61. The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure

62. Reefer Madness

63. 2-Headed Shark Attack

64. 3-Headed Shark Attack

65. 4-Headed Shark Attack

66. 5-Headed Shark Attack

67. 6-Headed Shark Attack

68. 7-Headed Shark Attack

69. Sharknado 2

70. Sharknado 3

71. Sharknado 4

72. Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus

73. Jaws: the Revenge

74. Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus

75. Mega Shark Versus Mecha Shark

76. Mega Shark Versus Kolossus

77. Sharktopus Versus Pteracuda

78. Sharktopus Versus Whalewolf

79. Sand Sharks

80. Dinoshark

81. Atlas Shrugged

82. Atlas Shrugged Part 2

83. Atlas Shrugged Part 3

84. Mac and Me

85. Disaster Movie

86. Meet the Spartans

87. Epic Movie

88. The Search for Santa Paws

89. Santa Paws 2: The Santa Pups

90. Roboshark

91. The Cobbler

92. The Ridiculous 6

93. The Do-Over

94. Hercules in New York

95. Leprechaun: In the Hood

96. Theodore Rex

97. Super Mario Bros.

98. 8-Headed Shark Attack

99. 9-Headed Shark Attack

100. 10-Headed Shark Attack

Alternatives to fireworks

What are some alternatives to fireworks, you ask?

Here are some ideas:

-train lightning bugs to make a dragon shape
-super fast jazz hands
-think about baby elephants playing with ribbons
-jump as high as you can and clap
-juggle flaming Smurfs
-cat jumps onto the fridge and meows really loud
-pop rocks mixed with edible glitter exploding in your mouth

Date Ideas

Date ideas from Jeremy C. Shipp:

-write and perform a Garbage Pail Kids musical

-build a giant cat mecha

-look at the Ark of the Covenant and see who melts first

-get X-rays and look at each other’s skeletons

-prevent an apocalypse

-cause an apocalypse

-see who can summon the cutest demon

-transmogrify into dragons and conquer the world

-make voodoo dolls of each other and kiss the dolls simultaneously

-Chipotle

Globcow the Comic Book Series!

About this project

Globcow #1 will be a 20-page, all-ages comic by Jeremy C. Shipp (writer/creator) and Tabby Freeman (artist). Each page will be full color.

Check out our Kickstarter campaign here. Any support would be most appreciated.

Let’s meet some of the characters, shall we?

GLOBCOW

Globcow is a little demon who decides to leave the underworld so that he can become an angel. His heart’s in the right place, but his teeth often get him into trouble. In his spare time he likes to bite everything in sight, collect porcelain clowns, and ride around on dogs. Will this little weirdo ever earn his angel wings?

MARIA

Maria is the coolest angel around. At least, she likes to think so. When she’s not at home dressing her cats in Victorian gowns, Maria’s protecting the world from giant demonic hedgehogs and other terrifying creatures of the underworld. Of course, she’s more than a little annoyed when she’s forced to mentor Globcow. What will people think if they see her hanging around with a stinky little demon? Will Maria teach Globcow the ways of kindness and friendship, or will she quit her day job and start a hat store for cats?

HARRY

Harry’s a flying pig, but you can see that, can’t you? Harry is Maria’s boss, and he dresses like a hard-boiled detective because he looks darn good in an overcoat. Don’t you think?

THE BLADE DRAGON

The Blade Dragon has power beyond comprehension, and he’s a big meanie. Can Maria and Globcow defeat this monster and save the day? Did we mention the dragon can breathe flaming swords?

(Characters by Jeremy C. Shipp. Character designs by Tabby Freeman.)

This funds raised by this campaign will help cover artist fees, shipping and printing costs, advertising costs, etc.

STRETCH GOAL

If we reach $7000, Globcow Issue #2 will be created in 2016 and everyone who pledges $10 or more will receive a digital copy of this second issue. Those who pledge $25 or more will receive a print and digital copy. 

The Author: Jeremy C. Shipp

Jeremy C. Shipp is the Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of Cursed, Vacation, and Attic Clowns. His shorter tales have appeared in over 80 publications, the likes of Cemetery Dance, ChiZine, Apex Magazine, Withersin, and Shroud Magazine. Jeremy enjoys living in Southern California in a moderately haunted Victorian farmhouse with a yard full of gnomes and an attic full of clowns.

His online home is jeremycshipp.com.

Follow him on Twitter at @JeremyCShipp.

The Artist: Tabby Freeman

Redheaded and rad. Big glasses and lots of scarves. Doesn’t actually own a pug. Sometimes makes art on the web.

Check out more of Tabby’s work at http://artoftabby.tumblr.com/

Follow her on Twitter at @Tabrakadabra

Click here to visit the Kickstarter page. Backers can get signed print copies of the comic, handmade demon plushies, and other cool prizes. Thanks so much for your support!

Writing Tips

Writing Tips from Bram Stoker Award-nominated author Jeremy C. Shipp.

-wear lucky pajamas

-bounce ideas off your cats

-dress your pencils in tiny suits

-cry yourself to sleep

-dream about zebras

-bite your fingernails

-tell your cats you love them

-eat cold beans over the sink

-cultivate new fears

-talk with the moon

-search for answers and fail

-decorate your insecurities using glitter

-get a tattoo of your cat

-pace the room

-eat fries

-tickle your inner demons

-dress your inner child in Jedi robes

-dip your ego in chocolate

-convince your id it’s a chicken