For the next 6 hours, you can grab a copy of GLOBCOW #1 on Kindle for just $1.99.
When Isabella died, her parents were determined to ensure her education wouldn’t suffer.
But Isabella’s parents had not informed her new governess of Isabella’s… condition, and when Ms Valdez arrives at the estate, having forced herself through a surreal nightmare maze of twisted human-like statues, she discovers that there is no girl to tutor.
Or is there…?
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When I first decided to create a list of the best films ever to be committed to celluloid, I felt slightly wary. Then, when I actually began the process of curating the list, the wariness transformed into moderate terror. And then, as the days and weeks passed, I felt the daunting weight of my task deep in my spleen. I’m not complaining, mind you. I simply want you to appreciate how much of my heart and soul and time was put into this list. How does one delve into over a century of cinema, and choose only 100 to represent the best of the best? It’s not easy. I’ll tell you that much. Anyway, without further ado, here are 100 of the best films ever made.
1. Troll 2
3. The Room
4. The Legend of the Titanic
5. Titanic: The Legend Goes On
7. Elf Bowling
8. The Little Panda Fighter
9. The Christmas Tree
10. Fateful Findings
11. The Garbage Pail Kids Movie
12. I Am Here…Now
13. Double Down
14. Cool as Ice
15. Manos: The Hands of Fate
16. Birdemic: Shock and Terror
17. Birdemic 2: The Resurrection
18. Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo
19. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
20. Death Bed: The Bed that Eats
21. The Beast of Yucca Flatts
23. Ben & Arthur
24. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon
25. Saving Christmas
26. Twin Sitters
29. Master of Disguise
30. Star Wars Holiday Special
31. Kindergarten Cop 2
33. From Justin to Kelly
34. Son of the Mask
35. Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny
36. 8 Crazy Nights
37. God’s Not Dead
38. God’s Not Dead 2
39. Christian Mingle
40. Old Fashioned
41. Fred: The Movie
42. Fred 2
43. Fred 3
44. Left Behind
45. Left Behind 2: Tribulation Force
46. Left Behind: World at War
47. Left Behind (remake)
48. Air Buddies
49. Snow Buddies
50. Space Buddies
51. Santa Buddies
52. Spooky Buddies
53. Treasure Buddies
54. Baby Geniuses
55. Baby Geniuses 2: Superbabies
57. The Final Sacrifice
58. Final Justice
59. Battlefield Earth
60. Chairman of the Board
61. The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure
62. Reefer Madness
63. 2-Headed Shark Attack
64. 3-Headed Shark Attack
65. 4-Headed Shark Attack
66. 5-Headed Shark Attack
67. 6-Headed Shark Attack
68. 7-Headed Shark Attack
69. Sharknado 2
70. Sharknado 3
71. Sharknado 4
72. Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus
73. Jaws: the Revenge
74. Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus
75. Mega Shark Versus Mecha Shark
76. Mega Shark Versus Kolossus
77. Sharktopus Versus Pteracuda
78. Sharktopus Versus Whalewolf
79. Sand Sharks
81. Atlas Shrugged
82. Atlas Shrugged Part 2
83. Atlas Shrugged Part 3
84. Mac and Me
85. Disaster Movie
86. Meet the Spartans
87. Epic Movie
88. The Search for Santa Paws
89. Santa Paws 2: The Santa Pups
91. The Cobbler
92. The Ridiculous 6
93. The Do-Over
94. Hercules in New York
95. Leprechaun: In the Hood
96. Theodore Rex
97. Super Mario Bros.
98. 8-Headed Shark Attack
99. 9-Headed Shark Attack
100. 10-Headed Shark Attack
Attic Clowns: Volume Four is free today on Kindle!
What are some alternatives to fireworks, you ask?
Here are some ideas:
-train lightning bugs to make a dragon shape
-super fast jazz hands
-think about baby elephants playing with ribbons
-jump as high as you can and clap
-juggle flaming Smurfs
-cat jumps onto the fridge and meows really loud
-pop rocks mixed with edible glitter exploding in your mouth
Date ideas from Jeremy C. Shipp:
-write and perform a Garbage Pail Kids musical
-build a giant cat mecha
-look at the Ark of the Covenant and see who melts first
-get X-rays and look at each other’s skeletons
-prevent an apocalypse
-cause an apocalypse
-see who can summon the cutest demon
-transmogrify into dragons and conquer the world
-make voodoo dolls of each other and kiss the dolls simultaneously
About this project
Globcow #1 will be a 20-page, all-ages comic by Jeremy C. Shipp (writer/creator) and Tabby Freeman (artist). Each page will be full color.
Check out our Kickstarter campaign here. Any support would be most appreciated.
Let’s meet some of the characters, shall we?
Globcow is a little demon who decides to leave the underworld so that he can become an angel. His heart’s in the right place, but his teeth often get him into trouble. In his spare time he likes to bite everything in sight, collect porcelain clowns, and ride around on dogs. Will this little weirdo ever earn his angel wings?
Maria is the coolest angel around. At least, she likes to think so. When she’s not at home dressing her cats in Victorian gowns, Maria’s protecting the world from giant demonic hedgehogs and other terrifying creatures of the underworld. Of course, she’s more than a little annoyed when she’s forced to mentor Globcow. What will people think if they see her hanging around with a stinky little demon? Will Maria teach Globcow the ways of kindness and friendship, or will she quit her day job and start a hat store for cats?
Harry’s a flying pig, but you can see that, can’t you? Harry is Maria’s boss, and he dresses like a hard-boiled detective because he looks darn good in an overcoat. Don’t you think?
THE BLADE DRAGON
The Blade Dragon has power beyond comprehension, and he’s a big meanie. Can Maria and Globcow defeat this monster and save the day? Did we mention the dragon can breathe flaming swords?
(Characters by Jeremy C. Shipp. Character designs by Tabby Freeman.)
This funds raised by this campaign will help cover artist fees, shipping and printing costs, advertising costs, etc.
If we reach $7000, Globcow Issue #2 will be created in 2016 and everyone who pledges $10 or more will receive a digital copy of this second issue. Those who pledge $25 or more will receive a print and digital copy.
The Author: Jeremy C. Shipp
Jeremy C. Shipp is the Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of Cursed, Vacation, and Attic Clowns. His shorter tales have appeared in over 80 publications, the likes of Cemetery Dance, ChiZine, Apex Magazine, Withersin, and Shroud Magazine. Jeremy enjoys living in Southern California in a moderately haunted Victorian farmhouse with a yard full of gnomes and an attic full of clowns.
His online home is jeremycshipp.com.
Follow him on Twitter at @JeremyCShipp.
The Artist: Tabby Freeman
Redheaded and rad. Big glasses and lots of scarves. Doesn’t actually own a pug. Sometimes makes art on the web.
Check out more of Tabby’s work at http://artoftabby.tumblr.com/
Follow her on Twitter at @Tabrakadabra
Click here to visit the Kickstarter page. Backers can get signed print copies of the comic, handmade demon plushies, and other cool prizes. Thanks so much for your support!
Writing Tips from Bram Stoker Award-nominated author Jeremy C. Shipp.
-wear lucky pajamas
-bounce ideas off your cats
-dress your pencils in tiny suits
-cry yourself to sleep
-dream about zebras
-bite your fingernails
-tell your cats you love them
-eat cold beans over the sink
-cultivate new fears
-talk with the moon
-search for answers and fail
-decorate your insecurities using glitter
-get a tattoo of your cat
-pace the room
-tickle your inner demons
-dress your inner child in Jedi robes
-dip your ego in chocolate
-convince your id it’s a chicken